I wish that people kept losing their teeth throughout their life because I hate to think that I will never get to do the thing where you tie your tooth to a doorknob and slam the door to yank it out.
I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy cutting open Fruit Gushers and squeezing all of the goo into a glass so I can take a shot of it because that has always been a dream of mine and now that I’m an adult with a job, I finally have the means to make it a reality. Please leave your name and number after the beep.
"I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve fucking thought of it."
"You can’t just make me different and then leave."